I would like to share a personal word of testimony with you. Keith and I had been married for 13 years while I was sitting under a message on bitterness and how it coorelates with unforgiveness. The Holy Spirit illuminated the fact that I had gone all of these years (our eighth child was only 3 months old) blinded to the unforgiveness in my heart toward my husband about something that happened before we were even married!
I did not realize that the reason I struggled with trusting him and my own insecurities really pointed back to my unforgiving heart. We talked in great depth together about the situation and for the first time, I really was able to let go and forgive. It was not something done to me in particular, but I took it so personal that it affected our marriage negatively for 13 years!!
I had passionately loved Keith (or so I thought), but I had not really unconditionally loved him by offering the same grace to him that God had and does offer me. You see, I was like the man in Jesus’ parable, who, after he was forgiven a great debt, went out and beat his fellow slave because he owed him some paltry sum. My own spiritual immaturity kept me from living a free and fulfilling life with my husband.
I cannot say it may not rear its ugly head again, but so far I believe I was able to release Keith from that guilt and shame that only I kept placing on him. God had already granted it to him.
So, that brings me to my third point. Before you can truly pray effectively for your husband, father, son, etc… you must forgive them.
It won’t just be big things to forgive them for. It will be the little things too. Like unmet expectations. Hurtful words. Lack of affection. Feeling unappreciated. Lack of leadership. Seemingly unanswered prayers. When you pray and your heart holds resentment that he isn’t or hasn’t become the very thing that you are praying for him about you must forgive him.
Release Him. Take the pressure off of him. You may never forget the wrong done to you, but for your own emotional healing and wholeness, you must let go of the offending one and begin to “return good for evil. “
Now you can thank him and help him and pray for him. He has the potential now to rise up! To God be the glory! May God help us.
Thankful for the forgiveness granted to me on a continual basis, so I can give it to others,