Jason Wade, Pharmacist
READ Proverbs 17:27-28
If you find that small issues tend to quickly escalate into a heated argument in your home or workplace, then try one of the following tips the next time you’re facing conflict:
1. Take a deep breath to stay relaxed. Don’t sigh or be overly dramatic about it. 1 Corinthians 13:11
2. Look the other person in the eye, with both of you sitting or standing. Don’t give them the “stink eye.”
3. Speak softly and slowly. Proverbs 15:1: A soft answer turns away wrath. Ever heard anyone say: “Speak softly and carry a big stick?” Put the stick down.
4. Keep your legs and arms uncrossed. Do not clench your fists or purse your lips. Keep your body language open and not defensive or aggressive.
5. Keep reminding yourself: “We can find a win-win resolution to this,” and remind the other person of this too. Don’t yell it or nag it.
6. Watch your language. Words that escalate a conflict… never, always, unless, can’t, won’t, don’t, should, & shouldn’t. Words that de-escalate a conflict… maybe, perhaps, sometimes, what if, it seems like, I feel, I think, & I wonder. James 3:5: So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!
7. Affirm and acknowledge the other person’s position. Do it in love.
8. Ask questions that encourage the other person to look for a solution. Ask open-ended questions rather than ones that will evoke a yes or no response. Don’t be like Christian comedian Tim Hawkins. He was in a heated conversation with his wife and asked her: “Honey, why are you being a psycho right now?” Be smart about it and choose your questions wisely.
9. Always examine your heart. Matthew 7:4: Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye?
10. Rise above. Find a way to climb out from underneath the conflict. Getting on top of the conflict will help you to help those you maybe frustrated with. When you get a 30,000 foot view things become more clear and you’re able to reason much better than being under the conflict.
Lord, help me when I find myself in a conflict at home or work. Please help me be the one to offer solutions to the problems we face in everyday life. Lord, I need You to rise above and respond in a godly manner rather than react in a manner that is fueled by my flesh or my enemy. For Your glory, Lord! Amen
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