Top 10 Components of a Strong Marriage – Part 1

Bryan Robertson, Family Pastor/Speaker,, 

READ Philippians 2:3

This is one of the greatest verses on marriage. If couples would obey this verse, we would see a huge decline in divorces. Here’s what it says, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.” So, how can we not be selfish or conceited? Here are 10 ways I wrote in my book, Top 10 Components of a Strong Marriage: 

  1. Grow Spiritually. We all need more of God and less of us. God expects us to grow in Him. What are you doing to grow spiritually? As the days, months and years pass, we should look and act more and more like Jesus. Romans 8:29 says, “We should be conformed into the image of Christ”. This is God’s will for us as believers.

  2. Spend Time Together. This sounds like a no-brainer for couples but it becomes difficult when interwoven with careers, hobbies, friends, church, social media, families, children, etc. Every couple needs to do at least 3 things to spend time together: (1) Spend several minutes alone each day; (2) Have a consistent date night; (3) Get away without the kids at least twice a year for at least one night.

  3. Know Their Love Language. Don’t just discover it; speak it. Gary Chapman has helped millions of couples with this little secret; including us! Kari and I spent our first 7 years of marriage speaking our own love language to each other resulting in much frustration. Then we took the Love Language test and things made sense and got much better! Take the test at

  4. Dress Sexy in Private and Classy in Public. Due to the fact that a man’s eyes are never satisfied (Proverbs 27:20b), every man desires a good-looking and sexy wife. As a couple, stay in the best physical shape possible for God, each other, your children, your future, and respect in general. Encourage and motivate each other in this endeavor.

  5. Make Special Occasions Special. This would include: birthdays, Christmas, New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, promotions, etc. This is all about communicating EXPECTATIONS. We need to ask each other what they expect on special occasions and fulfill it. Many times we need to exceed their expectations with creativity. 

#6-10 Continued in the next devotion.

Father, help me to think of my wife’s needs and wants before mine and to love and forgive her like You do me.

One of the greatest verses on marriage, Philippians 2:3. If couples would obey this verse, we would see a huge decline in divorces. 


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