Mitch Temple,  Executive Director of The Fatherhood CoMission

READ Ephesians 5:15-33

I’ve been helping couples for many years. I have also been on a 30 year journey to make my marriage better and I have not given up. I’m not satisfied with where it is, I want it to be the best it can be because God gave me my wife and marriage as a gift. I’m determined to honor that gift. Do I fail? Sure. Often? Yes. But my heart keeps pointing toward “better” not “worse.”

Take some time to prayerfully consider the following if you’re married or hope to be one day…

1. It’s not about me. It’s bigger than simply being happy, getting my way or meeting my needs.

2. Put God first, her second. Don’t expect her to do for me what only God can do.

3. Think smart (think in simple terms, one step at time, small changes versus fixing everything at once).

4. Express Appreciation. Look for and focus on the positives. Express appreciation for specific things about each other on a regular basis.

5. Learn to forgive. Realize that forgiveness is often a process not just words. It hurts you more than your spouse when you withhold it. (Don’t confuse forgiveness with trust. You can grant forgiveness, trust has to be rebuilt).

6. Say yes (work together to try to get to yes- a win-win for both).

7. Choose battles (Realize that some battles are not worth fighting. Choose which ones you can let go of).

8. Before you say or do something your gut tells you not to do, ask “Is it worth it?” Will the outcomes of what I am about to say be worth the satisfaction of getting it off my chest?

9. Shut up (know when to be quite and when to say something).

10. Just stop it. Stop fighting, if you can’t… get help. Don’t avoid conflict but learn what is healthy and not healthy. Learn when to call time out, wait an hour, let emotions die down and then reengage calmly and humbly.

PRAY:
God help me win as a man in my marriage. May God give me desire and power as a husband that honors You and Your Word. Lord Jesus live through me to touch my wife for Your Glory in Jesus Name, Amen!

TWEET:
I’m not satisfied with where my marriage is, I want it to be the best it can be because God gave me my wife and marriage as a gift. @Real_Momentum

30Lessons

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